http://manhood.harperhill.net/index.htmlHot News!enrwharper@speakeasy.netCopyright 2011 Russ Harper2011-09-29T23:48:27-05:00 hourly 1 2000-01-01T12:00+00:00 Thu, 26 May 2011 12:37:27 -0500rwharper@speakeasy.netPlanning2011-09-29T23:48:27-05:00http://manhood.harperhill.net/blog/files/Updated%20Schedule%20Info.html#unique-entry-id-11http://manhood.harperhill.net/blog/files/Updated%20Schedule%20Info.html#unique-entry-id-11
Mary Jo has the Sanctuary reserved from 1 pm to 4 pm. The number of men who can participate will dictate the start time. I will limit the ceremony to no more than 1 hour, so by starting the ceremony at 3 pm we will be finished by 4 pm. That gives a max time of 2 hours for the wisdom and council of Godly men. Please email to let me know if you plan to participate. The best case would be 12 men, in which case we will have 10 minutes each.]]>rwharper@speakeasy.netPlanning2011-09-12T13:39:58-05:00http://manhood.harperhill.net/blog/files/182e00f2fd3da562af29f37b781e67b9-10.html#unique-entry-id-10http://manhood.harperhill.net/blog/files/182e00f2fd3da562af29f37b781e67b9-10.html#unique-entry-id-10
We have rescheduled the Manhood Ceremony activities for Saturday, 19 November. Jacob’s Eagle Scout Court of Honor will be held the next day, Sunday, 20 November.

Manhood Ceremony activities will still consist of the walk at Deer Grove park, the actual ceremony at St. Peter Lutheran Church at 2 pm (in the Sanctuary now instead of Bartz Hall), and the dinner at Piatti Pronti at 6:30 in the evening. I am looking at taking less time during the day on recommendation from Mary Jo, as a whole day may be difficult for some to justify. I’ll think about this more in the next few days. If you have opinions, please get back to me.]]>rwharper@speakeasy.netPlanning2011-07-28T19:50:50-05:00http://manhood.harperhill.net/blog/files/474179d86d92b899520634421f54c843-9.html#unique-entry-id-9http://manhood.harperhill.net/blog/files/474179d86d92b899520634421f54c843-9.html#unique-entry-id-9rwharper@speakeasy.netPlanning2011-07-21T07:38:04-05:00http://manhood.harperhill.net/blog/files/492420652f847bc69e6bd51afabb6070-8.html#unique-entry-id-8http://manhood.harperhill.net/blog/files/492420652f847bc69e6bd51afabb6070-8.html#unique-entry-id-8
This will follow the morning ‘Life Walk’ at Deer Grove Park, and will be followed by a dinner at Piatti Pronti in Arlington Heights for participants (fathers and peers).]]>rwharper@speakeasy.netBlog2011-07-21T07:34:51-05:00http://manhood.harperhill.net/blog/files/7756c39f671f60747e0d7e0683b88ab0-7.html#unique-entry-id-7http://manhood.harperhill.net/blog/files/7756c39f671f60747e0d7e0683b88ab0-7.html#unique-entry-id-7This morning I sent emails to a group of Jacob’s best friends:

I am planning a Manhood ceremony for Jacob on August 13th at 2 pm, and I am asking you to consider participating.  The purpose of the ceremony is to affirm Jacob as he passes from boyhood to manhood, and will be held at St. Peter school in Bartz Hall.  A number of men are participating (including your father) and I am asking those friends of Jacob's who know him best to participate as well.

What I ask of you is to write a short paragraph on something that you believe that Jacob does well, and read it during the ceremony.  Additionally, I would like for you to write a sentence on something you believe that Jacob needs to watch out for as he goes through life, such as a tendency to talk too much, for example.  The first will be read publicly, and both parts will be given to Jacob for him to read privately.

If you are unable to attend, please consider writing the two short paragraphs so I can include them with paragraphs from others in a small binder for Jacob's use in the future.

In any event, please do not discuss this with Jacob as I would like for this to be a surprise for him.

Please let me know at your earliest convenience, and don't hesitate to contact me with any questions you may have.  More information about the ceremony is available at my website, www.harperhill.net.

Thanks, and best regards,

Mr. Harper

If your son receives one of these, please encourage him to participate. I believe it vital that Jacob’s respected peers, those that know him best, participate as well. In addition to the affirmation of something he does well, I have asked them to point out a (potential) weakness to balance out the praise.]]>rwharper@speakeasy.netBlog2011-07-20T12:12:42-05:00http://manhood.harperhill.net/blog/files/e2f1ded1b1058e33e48f23af761a12cb-6.html#unique-entry-id-6http://manhood.harperhill.net/blog/files/e2f1ded1b1058e33e48f23af761a12cb-6.html#unique-entry-id-6
http://princeofthewest.blogspot.com/2008/11/proverbs-31-for-men.html

Proverbs 31 for men

The Sunday just before Christ the King Sunday, the Old Testament reading was Proverbs 31 - the account of the diligent wife. Though (sadly) few Catholics could peg this passage from the opening verses, most evangelicals can. It recounts the attributes of a faithful wife, and is often read at times like Mother's Day. I get a kick out of catching Ellen's eye when it's being read, for though she doesn't plant vineyards or spin her own yarn, she's diligent in tending to our house.

I've spoken to men who loved Proverbs 31 as kind of an ideal standard for women, but lamented that there was no equivalent for men. But actually, there is - though it's found in an unlikely place. The passage is Job 29, specifically verses 7-17. It reads thus:


7 When I went out to the gate through the city, when I prepared my seat in the street!
8 The young men saw me, and hid themselves: and the aged arose, and stood up.
9 The princes refrained talking, and laid their hand on their mouth.
10 The nobles held their peace, and their tongue cleaved to the roof of their mouth.
11 When the ear heard me, then it blessed me; and when the eye saw me, it gave witness to me:
12 Because I delivered the poor that cried, and the fatherless, and him that had none to help him.
13 The blessing of him that was ready to perish came upon me: and I caused the widow's heart to sing for joy.
14 I put on righteousness, and it clothed me: my judgment was as a robe and a diadem.
15 I was eyes to the blind, and feet was I to the lame.
16 I was a father to the poor: and the cause which I knew not I searched out.
17 And I brake the jaws of the wicked, and plucked the spoil out of his teeth.
KJV
Lest anyone think Job was simply blowing his own horn here, remember that God Himself referred to Job as "blameless and upright", which presumably involved a fair amount of humility. We can safely assume that Job exaggerated nothing, but was simply telling things as they were.

We guys tend to like the part where everybody stands and falls silent when we show up, but the thing to notice is why they do that: because Job aided the helpless, and took up the cause of the outcast and the victimized. He doesn't boast of his substantial wealth or community influence, but rather that he took the part of those who had nobody to help them.

Scripturally, this is the mark of a manly man: the willingness to put his strength at the disposal of the weak. This obviously requires sacrifice, and sometimes confrontation, as that last verse indicates. The confrontation part doesn't go down well in our culture, and to many pragmatic men may seem a dangerous step. After all, why alienate that guy? I may have to do business with him in the future, and maybe there's another side to the business about the rental units...(or whatever).

But Job didn't see it from the perspective of what he might gain from a situation - he only saw the victims and their plight. That was enough to move him to action. I can't count how many times this passage has given me comfort in the years I've been fighting the pro-life fight, because if there is any group that is in "the fangs of the wicked", it is unborn children.

It's interesting to note the difference in tenor between the two passages. In Proverbs 31, it is to a woman's credit to tend to her own home, while in Job 29, the noblest work for the man is to see that righteousness is established in the public arena.

I remember being at a men's retreat, and hearing an evangelical pastor for whom I had great respect interrupt his talk to state plainly, "Y'know, I've had it up to here with 'nice'. God doesn't need 'nice' men, he needs strong, courageous, and forthright men. Our culture puts such a high value on 'nice' that it turns us into wimps." Job would agree. Taking up the case of the stranger and breaking the fangs of the wicked are not the actions of a 'nice' man, but of a strong one. That's the kind of man I want to be.

So there you are, guys - that's our Scriptural equivalent. If we want our wives to be "Proverbs 31" women, we should strive to be "Job 29" men. Be warned: it isn't necessarily nice, but it is right. It will be costly, and may involve confronting people (particularly "the wicked", who can be quite intimidating). But that's the standard, and one that was exemplified by Our Lord Himself.

Being a Job 29 man can come naturally, if we let it. I had a glimpse of it this past weekend when we had our grandchildren stay the night - the first night away from their parents for both of them. It was a planned, deliberate step to get them accustomed to the idea, and it had the expected tears and calls for parents, particularly at bedtime. The morning went all right until my granddaughter bumped her head and Momma was not around to comfort her. Upon hearing her tears, her cousin brought her his teddy bear and consoled her, telling her not to cry and that her Momma would be here soon. He missed his mother every bit as much as my granddaughter did, and probably would have loved to commiserate with her. But her distress caused him to forget his, and he devoted his efforts to easing her burden. This is a two-year-old version of Job 29 in action - a very good start.]]>rwharper@speakeasy.netPlanning2011-06-26T09:03:21-05:00http://manhood.harperhill.net/blog/files/db06bf2d2dd545d2550e486754ec9811-5.html#unique-entry-id-5http://manhood.harperhill.net/blog/files/db06bf2d2dd545d2550e486754ec9811-5.html#unique-entry-id-5
The first and third parts will be for fathers & sons only, and family members are welcome to the ceremony.

The breaks between events will provide time for reflection and discussion between fathers and sons.]]>rwharper@speakeasy.netPlanning2011-06-11T21:27:26-05:00http://manhood.harperhill.net/blog/files/0f076b112a1cbc484c3140b6e56de08f-4.html#unique-entry-id-4http://manhood.harperhill.net/blog/files/0f076b112a1cbc484c3140b6e56de08f-4.html#unique-entry-id-4
The ‘journey’ will be separate from the ceremony. I would like to have the ceremony in the afternoon, around 3 pm. Although I haven’t planned it, I’m thinking something around an hour and a half, and will have an audience of families and friends. During the ceremony, Jacob’s friends will read their short letters, we men will say some things, there will be a charge (obligations of manhood), a blessing, a ‘knighting’ with the sword, and a prayer.

Dinner will be 7 pm in Arlington Heights. This break will provide an opportunity for fathers to talk with sons about what they witnessed and participated in, and how it relates to them. At this time, I would like to have the dinner in a private room at Piatti Pronti. The chef - owner is a personal friend, and she has agreed to create a special meal for us. I’m thinking at present that men participants and their sons will be invited to the dinner, where we will fellowship together and continue the celebration.

I’ll start a discussion topic on this subject, so please chime in with your thoughts. To participate in the discussion area, you will have to create a log in with a password. Email me if you need assistance.]]>rwharper@speakeasy.netPlanning2011-06-11T20:11:05-05:00http://manhood.harperhill.net/blog/files/1038284276fec01026b7d71c4d4ef319-3.html#unique-entry-id-3http://manhood.harperhill.net/blog/files/1038284276fec01026b7d71c4d4ef319-3.html#unique-entry-id-3Jacob’s Friends page.]]>rwharper@speakeasy.netPlanning2011-06-08T14:24:46-05:00http://manhood.harperhill.net/blog/files/62c18cf5e5d49740a6f1797cda94e7eb-2.html#unique-entry-id-2http://manhood.harperhill.net/blog/files/62c18cf5e5d49740a6f1797cda94e7eb-2.html#unique-entry-id-2rwharper@speakeasy.netIntroductionPlanning2011-06-07T19:16:58-05:00http://manhood.harperhill.net/blog/files/a156858862bc30f4c2363d9e495f1985-1.html#unique-entry-id-1http://manhood.harperhill.net/blog/files/a156858862bc30f4c2363d9e495f1985-1.html#unique-entry-id-1
One of the immediate benefits is correct operation of the Discussion page. We can now have threaded discussions where questions can be asked, comments offered, and information passed efficiently to all involved.

I will be adding more content to the site in the coming week.]]>rwharper@speakeasy.netIntroductionPlanning2011-05-26T13:15:24-05:00http://manhood.harperhill.net/blog/files/7b5a6a9967c7b81d99d98f2ea35dd81d-0.html#unique-entry-id-0http://manhood.harperhill.net/blog/files/7b5a6a9967c7b81d99d98f2ea35dd81d-0.html#unique-entry-id-0
Planning: the date has been tentatively chosen for August 6th. Jacob wants to spend the summer with his friends, and I fully support this for a variety of reasons. If the date shifts farther out, we will return to the area to hold the ceremony.

Overall vision: my vision is to have the ceremony followed by a bonfire and a meal. I haven’t yet worked out enough details to know if this is all feasible. Please email me with your comments and ideas until I get a discussion area working on this website.

I want for the ceremony to be at Deer Grove Park, with you men placed around a portion of the walking path. Jacob will start out at the beginning and walk to the first man, and then they two will walk and talk together to the next man on the path. I would like to have 15 - 20 minutes of walk & talk, but realize that time will be the limiting factor if all are able to participate. After each man has his turn, they will walk back to a central point. The last man (which may be me) and Jacob will walk together to the central point. I am trying to work out how the conversations can be recorded for Jacob’s future listening and reflection, as I believe that the discussions that will be conducted will be full of wisdom and guidance that will serve him for the rest of his life.

There is a camping area, Camp Alphonse, which has a pavilion and a fire ring. My initial thought is to have the knighting ceremony there with a bonfire. I have to think this through so it is not firm as yet.

I would also like to wind up the event with a shared meal. I haven’t figured out where and how as of yet.]]>